


4am

by minshuas



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Idol-Verse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 07:48:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12649248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minshuas/pseuds/minshuas
Summary: “Friends can kiss,” Soonyoung echoes, unconsciously licking his lips.Wonwoo watches the movement, mouth suddenly going dry. His voice comes out as a whisper. “It isn’t weird?”Without warning, Soonyoung’s moving closer, shaking his head. “Not weird,” but Wonwoo doesn’t feel reassured.





	4am

“Wonwoo-ah,” Soonyoung calls out from the couch. He’s sunken into it so much that the piece of furniture appears to be trying to swallow him alive. Maybe he’s finally becoming a part of it.  _ It’s about time…  _ Wonwoo thinks of how often Soonyoung spends his free time perched on the couch or sprawled across it like he is now. “How did the interview go?” There’s no effort expended in sitting up. Wonwoo has no idea how he even knew it was him entering the dorm especially when the rest of the hip-hop unit had also been at the same interview.

After shrugging off his jacket and kicking off his shoes, Wonwoo goes to join Soonyoung on the couch. It’s quite simple even if Soonyoung’s lazy ass doesn’t move in the slightest when he approaches. All he has to do is pick Soonyoung’s legs up so that he can occupy that spot. It comes at a small price, Soonyoung’s limbs stretched out across him, but Wonwoo doesn’t really complain. If he’s honest with himself, then he enjoys being this close to Soonyoung when he’s able to be. “It went fine,” he answers once he’s settled in his seat. Soonyoung turns on his side so that he is able to see Wonwoo better. “Seungcheol led the charge, as usual. I think Mingyu was a hit too. Hansol and I felt a little awkward after awhile because the dynamic was so different than from when all of us are being interviewed.” The admittance comes shyly because he doesn’t really want to make it sound like he doesn’t prefer his unit because that’s far from the truth. All that really bothered him about the interview was that the whole team had not been there to support one another.

Soonyoung grunts, sitting up and hooking his hands behind Wonwoo’s head. “I bet you did a great job too.” The smile that he gives Wonwoo is brilliant. It has his head spinning in a way that makes him think there might be a tornado stuck inside of him. That’s nothing new for Wonwoo though, because Soonyoung’s made him feel this way for quite awhile and he hasn’t stopped to question it. Sometimes people just swept others off their feet with their personalities.

When Wonwoo doesn’t respond right away, Soonyoung knocks their foreheads together. “I mean it,” he says with a stern expression. He knows that Wonwoo usually doubts himself, but his silence has nothing to do with self-doubt now. Instead, he’s hyperfocused on the distance between himself and Soonyoung. If he stopped to measure it, then it would be mere centimeters he’s sure. It’s such a useless thought though and he has no idea why he has it. There won’t ever be a time when he actually measures the distance between them, but still his mind is considering it right now. He tries to push it to the back of his mind. He’s probably just being weird because he’s exhausted from being stuck at a radio station until four in the morning.

“Thank you,” is what he says when he finally does respond to Soonyoung. It’s enough to pacify him, or at least, Wonwoo figures that it is because he backs away. He doesn’t go back to his laying position though, instead he sits up so that he’s beside Wonwoo. “Did you listen to the broadcast?”

Nodding, Soonyoung starts to toy with the sleeves of his pajamas. They are too long for his short arms, which usually means that it doesn’t belong to him. It might be Mingyu’s, but Wonwoo doesn’t recognize them. “You guys talked about  _ girls _ ,” Soonyoung says with an odd emphasis on the word. He doesn’t sound necessarily upset, but there’s an emotion hidden in his statement. Wonwoo raises an eyebrow at him, but doesn’t press him. Especially because he starts talking again, but this time he sounds infinitely more nervous than upset. “I didn’t know that you didn’t have your first kiss…?” He doesn’t look up at Wonwoo, but instead continues toying with his sleeves. The pajamas are a dark blue with some sort of pattern on them.  _ Boats? Birds?  _ Wonwoo can’t really tell because of the dim lighting in the room. It doesn’t help when Soonyoung pulls his blanket back over his shoulders, further obscuring them.

He chuckles, shaking his head. “We don’t really talk about things like that, do we?”

The nervous atmosphere surrounding Soonyoung seems to disperse when he notices that Wonwoo’s mood is still relaxed. “No, we don’t. The interview had all of us still at the dorm talking about who has had it and who hasn’t.” There’s a faint hint of a smile on his face and it makes Wonwoo’s frown stretch into a teasing smile.

“Did you get to tell them all your heated moments in elementary school?” He teases, pinching Soonyoung’s cheek. As soon as the words are out of his mouth though, Soonyoung’s smile falters and turns bitter. Wonwoo wonders if he’s hit upon a bad memory or if the topic of kissing is just a sensitive one for some reason. Although Soonyoung had been the one to originally bring it up. “Sorry,” he apologies regardless of why Soonyoung’s suddenly upset. “I didn’t mean to touch on anything sensitive.”

Soonyoung shakes his head. “No, it isn’t that…”

_ Then what is it?  _ Wonwoo doesn’t rush him, but his hands feel impatient and shaky.

Finally, he looks back at Wonwoo with wavering eyes. His gaze seems to want to stay upon Wonwoo, but he’s too nervous to look directly at him. “Did you know that we’re the only people who haven’t kissed anyone? Even Chan said that he’s had his first kiss.” There’s a sourness in his expression as he gives this admittance and Wonwoo can only laugh. It’s not fair to Soonyoung’s sensitivities, but the idea of them being the only two to not have ever kissed anyone before is laughable. Just the thought of Soonyoung having never kissed anyone is bizarre to Wonwoo. Sure, they’ve never talked about dating anyone before, but Soonyoung has always been charismatic and forward.

He glares at Wonwoo, pinching his arm. “Don’t laugh!” He exclaims, but can’t stop his own smile from appearing.

“You haven’t kissed anyone? Suave, twenty-one year old Kwon Soonyoung? Our main dancer who has hips that  _ tease  _ fans? Just the thought…  _ how _ ?” Wonwoo doesn’t understand it. With him, it’s obvious why he hasn’t. He’s schooled in romanticism and he won’t be succumbing to it in the form of true love or fate. When he has his first kiss, it will be done right or terribly wrong. He’s not saving it for anyone in particular, because he’s not going to cloud his mind with an idealization of the perfect moment. He hasn’t wanted to kiss anyone that he’s liked before, so he hasn’t. Plus he’s introverted and awkward when meeting new people, so he didn’t really have a chance to entertain even the idea of dating unless he wanted to hook up with a member.  _ Like Soonyoung _ , his mind interjects in its intrusive manner.

_ No. I just didn’t have that thought. It didn’t even cross my mind…  _ He knows that his feelings for Soonyoung are a little more than just innocent, but he doesn’t like to think about them. Soonyoung has no interest in him and he has absolutely no interest in jeopardizing their friendship by doing something foolish. If he could have one stable thing in his life, then he’d pick Soonyoung before a lot of other necessary things, like oxygen.

When he draws himself out of his thoughts, Soonyoung’s back to looking sour and shy. This time, he’s puffing his cheeks and pouting. It’s completely adorable. “Stop teasing me about it. Just because I haven’t kissed someone before doesn’t mean that I haven’t gone on dates.” He asserts. Wonwoo knows that’s true because he remembers Soonyoung talking about dates that he had before Seventeen had debuted. However, after debut, there had been no more discussion on the topic of dating. It was like once they became an official group, neither of them had time for dating even though the other members had time to tend to their personal business. Especially because from Hansol’s story during the interview, he had definitely had a more recent first kiss than Seungcheol.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, but there’s another teasing remark ready on his tongue.

The look Soonyoung gives him is pleading, but he knows there is no stopping Wonwoo. If he actually was upset about the lack of a first kiss, then Wonwoo wouldn’t push him, but he knows that Soonyoung has only brought it up because it bothers him a little bit. Before the broadcast, Wonwoo had figured that about half of the group probably already had their first kiss, but to know that Soonyoung and him are the only ones who haven’t… It’s jarring information, but not in any earth-shattering way. It just surprises him because of how unexpected it is to learn that Soonyoung is the one alongside him. Typically, Joshua or Chan would be the members accompanying him on the social curve, but this time it is  _ Soonyoung _ . It honestly seems like a joke because there’s no way that the boy who Wonwoo dreams about kissing hasn’t been kissed a thousand times. Wonwoo could have done that by now.

“If you are so scared of looking like a  _ loser  _ because you haven’t had your first kiss,” Wonwoo can’t stop his mouth from moving even though he begins to regret it as Soonyoung’s sour expression changes to confusion in premature realization. “Then you can kiss me. Two birds, one stone.”

The nervous atmosphere that had been surrounding Soonyoung now envelopes them both. Wonwoo doesn’t know why he’s said it. This is something that Mingyu would say or even Soonyoung himself. All he had wanted to do was to tease him, but he should have known better. With his own odd feelings towards Soonyoung, he should have known how dangerous the air could turn between them with such a simple suggestion. Neither look away from the other as they try to sort it all out in their heads. Wonwoo can’t open his mouth to take back his words, especially when he wants it to happen. It might be under the worst pretense in the whole world, but now that it is out there, he doesn’t want to take it back. The possibility of his first kiss being with Soonyoung is too good to be true, which is why he knows that once Soonyoung finds his words, he’ll meet disappointment.

“…really?” Soonyoung looks away from him, a blush creeping on his cheeks.

Rejection doesn’t immediately come to Wonwoo and that makes his mind hazy. “Friends can kiss?” He doesn’t know what to think about this whole situation. It’s four in the morning and they are occupying the only couch in the living room. Any of the hip-hop unit could still be awake. They could walk in and find them with the television off in the dim lighting. What would they think if they found them kissing? What would they say? Wonwoo doesn’t know what kind of risk they would be taking if they actually went through with it, but he’s willing to risk it. He doubts that any of their members would even climb out of bed at this hour, especially after how tiring their schedules have been lately. Wonwoo normally stays up late because he can’t sleep, regardless of how busy they are and Soonyoung likes to wait up for him whenever he can’t sleep. That’s the sort of relationship they have.

“Friends can kiss,” Soonyoung echoes, unconsciously licking his lips.

Wonwoo watches the movement, mouth suddenly going dry. His voice comes out as a whisper. “It isn’t weird?”

Without warning, Soonyoung’s moving closer, shaking his head. “Not weird,” but Wonwoo doesn’t feel reassured.

Actually, Wonwoo feels like his limbs have suddenly gone numb to any sensation. For some reason, his brain is throwing signals left and right, but no part of him is responding.  _ He’s going to kiss me _ . The realization suddenly dawns upon him. Soonyoung is moving closer to him and his hands won’t know where to place themselves and his mind will blank. It seems like just the mere mention of kissing Wonwoo has Soonyoung in motion. It’s so wild that Wonwoo has no idea what to do with the information.

It isn’t until Soonyoung’s nose bumps into his that he regains feeling, then everything is immediate. His hands find homes on the back of Soonyoung’s neck and against his hipbone. His eyes flutter shut, relishing in the feeling of Soonyoung’s fingers carding through his hair gently. He melts against his touch.  _ This  _ is enough for Wonwoo right now. To be touched as though he is loved is all that he needs from this moment. Ever since he became an idol, Wonwoo had been treated as though he was important, but the hands that touched him contained no love. The fans are one of the only exceptions and sometimes their love turned into venom as well. The managers, the companies, the fans… None of them could begin to compare to Soonyoung though. From the beginning, he made Wonwoo feel differently about everything. 

He didn’t know when he finally noticed, but Soonyoung ended up being his new home. Seventeen could be home for them all, but Wonwoo needed more than the lingering touch of friendship. Maybe it is a human error for him to crave love more than friendship, but at some point, his friendship with Soonyoung had turned into love.

“Wait,” he can feel Soonyoung’s breath against his lips. It makes him shiver in anticipation.

His eyes flutter open slowly, but neither pull away. The distance is immeasurable now because Wonwoo can make out the galaxies flashing in Soonyoung’s eyes. The moonlight gleams within them until it seems like he’s glowing: a part of the moon itself. “Is this really okay?” Soonyoung asks. There’s no anxiety behind his gaze anymore. It’s been replaced by a gentleness that Wonwoo hasn’t ever seen before.

If he speaks, then his voice will tremble, so he nods instead. Soonyoung’s gentle gaze turns serious. “Use your words, Jeon Wonwoo or so help me. I’m not going to listen to you say how this destroyed our friendship because you didn’t want to and I went in for it.” This sounds more like Soonyoung. It makes Wonwoo feel less on edge, but his stomach is still in knots.

“I really want to,” he says, interrupting Soonyoung from anything else he might think to add. There’s a desperation in his chest that comes out in his words, in his tone. Soonyoung’s gaze changes again and there’s a hint of curiosity in it now. Maybe his tone will cause this to stop before it can start, but he hopes that they are more resilient than a strange confession made in the dead of the night. This can’t ruin their friendship because their relationship is something that no one else has. It’s unique to them. Again, Soonyoung licks his lips and Wonwoo can’t catch his breath fast enough.

Because then Soonyoung’s kissing him.

Wonwoo’s hand comes up from his hip to mirror his other at the back of his neck. He doesn’t mean to trap Soonyoung in, but he does mean to keep him close. He doesn’t want to lose this as soon as he has it. His fingers coax him soothingly, trying to ground him into this moment. There’s a part of Wonwoo that hopes that by pouring all of his love into this kiss, Soonyoung will come to love him. It’s impossible, but he still holds out the smallest ounce of hope. Soonyoung doesn’t pull away immediately, instead he pushes his fingers through Wonwoo’s hair, petting it up, then smoothing it down.

All of it turns into a blur for Wonwoo when someone parts their lips. It isn’t quite electricity. He’s never understood that metaphor and now that he’s experiencing it, it doesn’t hold up. The writers should go back to their books and edit that part out because Wonwoo is sure that the feeling of kissing Soonyoung is the spark they want to grasp onto with words. It’s a spark, but the kind a sparkler gives off when it runs out. The last few embers that are thrown around aimlessly, because after that, it is pure softness. The initial spark dies out due to suffocation by the sweetest, softest feeling in the whole world. It is like the first time Wonwoo had touched silk. He had marveled at the feeling with childlike wonder. Now, though, he is an adult and the wonder in every corner of his mind is due to much more complicated things than an expensive material.  _ Soonyoung _ , a part of his mind calls out and sighs in absolute bliss.

Then the sensation disappears and is replaced with a hollowness, a desire.

His eyes open to meet Soonyoung’s stricken expression. “Can…” He starts to ask as soon as he has Wonwoo’s attention, but then he stops and looks around, chewing on his red, red lips. Wonwoo is vaguely aware that he can hear his heartbeat thumping away in his ears, can feel it in his fingertips. He expectantly waits for Soonyoung to continue. There’s a chance that he might not say what Wonwoo wants him so desperately to say, but he waits, unmoving. “Can I…” He laughs when his voice cracks. Wonwoo thinks that he does too, but he sounds so distant in his own ears. Soonyoung is amplified at the cost of his own voice. “…Can I kiss you again?”

This time, Wonwoo moves and the motion knocks their front teeth together. “Sorry,” he is quick to apologize, pulling back to appraise the damages. Soonyoung shakes his head, chuckling silently.

“Excited, are we?” He raises an eyebrow and Wonwoo is definitely in love with him. He’s so in love with him that it is sickening, but he’s not supposed to be. They aren’t supposed to be kissing and he’s not supposed to be encouraging it. “It’s alright though. It could have been a lot worse.” He reassures, but lets Wonwoo press his lips to the corner of his mouth in quick apology. It causes Soonyoung to giggle.  _ Fuck _ , Wonwoo wants to cry. There’s a pressure behind his eyes that warns him of the upending storm. He’s so wrecked. Soonyoung fucks him up so much.

He’s so scared to talk because he fears his voice will be hoarse or crack, but he wants to tell Soonyoung that he’s only dreamt about this. It feels too good to be true, especially when Soonyoung is looking at him with his eyes blown so wide that Wonwoo can see just how deep those galaxies reach within him. “Yes,” his voice sounds so small when he finds it. He can’t look away from Soonyoung for a second because he could lose this all in a moment of clarity. All it could take is Soonyoung realizing how this looks. Whatever is clouding their mind, exhaustion or fondness or desperation, Wonwoo has forgotten how to care for it. To him, all that matters is this moment because he’s trying to communicate a feeling without using words. 

There’s something settling besides the mirth in Soonyoung’s expression. Wonwoo can’t possibly decipher it properly because he’s never seen this emotion displayed on Soonyoung. Usually, they can tell what the other is thinking based solely off a look, but now Wonwoo is all confused. “Why?” Soonyoung turns his head away from Wonwoo quickly after he asks the question. Once again, he’s back to the shyness. Vaguely, Wonwoo can see the imprints left from his front teeth on his bottom lip. 

“Why am I excited?” Wonwoo’s voice cracks this time. He feels devastated for some reason, lost. 

A nod is Soonyoung’s response. “Yeah,” he says quietly. The sleeves of his pajamas are rolled up, but still too long for him. Wonwoo realizes it belatedly, but those are  _ his  _ pajamas that a fan had given him a couple months ago. He only had gotten to wore them once because he didn’t have many chances to put them on due to his busy schedule. Most nights, he just came home and fell into bed after taking a shower or washing his face. It was more often that he wore the clothes he had came back from a music show in rather than change into something more comfortable. 

Now, there’s an elephant in the room. Wonwoo doesn’t know what Soonyoung is looking for by asking him that question. He could be genuinely curious about his feelings, or this could be the beginning of the awkwardness between them. Their bond is strong, but all bonds had weak linkages. This could be theirs, or at least, Soonyoung’s.

“Wonwoo?” Fingers touch him lightly underneath his chin, then trace up his jawline. The feeling is euphoric, but he doesn’t close his eyes and lean into it like he wants to do. Instead, he keeps his gaze steadily trained on Soonyoung.  _ What do I say?  _ It’s so irritating to not know what he is thinking. The kiss had been agreed upon, so had a second one that had yet to come, but now there’s tension. What sense did that make? To Wonwoo, it made little to none. The whole reason that they had talked about it before doing it was to erase any tension that would follow. That didn’t seem to matter anymore though. “You can tell me  _ anything _ ,” Soonyoung draws him out of his anxious thoughts. “I won’t ever leave your side.” His touch is still so gentle as he turns his hand to cup his cheek. “I promise.”

A bubble of nervous laughter pops in his chest and he has to force a barrage of tears back.  _ How did this happen? How did I get into a situation where I have to say what I wanted to avoid?  _ “Okay,” his voice is watery, but he has always been good at maintaining his emotions. He’s sure that he won’t cry by the end of this conversation. Internalized emotions sometimes had the ability to choke someone up, but since they are internalized, they don’t have to make an appearance. It’s the fascinating thing about them. “Why was I excited?” His voice is more level now.

Soonyoung simply nods. 

Before he answers the question, Wonwoo takes Soonyoung’s hand from his face and intertwines their fingers instead. “You promised, Soonyoung,” he warns. It has no effect on Soonyoung because he just tilts his head, ready for whatever answer that Wonwoo has to give him.  _ He had been the one to ask… so, of course, he wants to know the answer. This shouldn’t be anxiety-inducing for him…  _ He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath. Though nothing could prepare him for the possible ending of their friendship. 

“Ah,” he hears Soonyoung say. It sounds slightly annoyed, but as he’s opening his eyes to check, a softness meets his lips again.  _ Oh _ , Wonwoo thinks, unintelligently,  _ he’s kissing me again.  _ This kiss feels just as soft as the first, but there’s also a hardness in it, from Soonyoung. It is as though all of his annoyance is being channelled into the kiss. Still, it doesn’t hurt. Soonyoung nips at his bottom lip clumsily and it still doesn’t hurt. In fact, Wonwoo feels like the surface tension of a body of water and Soonyoung’s kisses are tiny ripples stirring up his tides. “You take forever to admit to anything,” Soonyoung pulls away, tone accusational. “I could kiss you a thousand times and you’d still ask if it is okay with me, wouldn’t you?” 

“Oh,” Wonwoo says, unintelligently. 

It all makes sense to Wonwoo, but he’s having trouble processing it. All of a sudden, the weight of Soonyoung’s confession has been dropped upon him when he is supposed to be the one telling Soonyoung that he’s wanted to kiss him for  _ years  _ now and he’s given up on looking for a relationship because he can’t stop dreaming about taking Soonyoung to movies or festivals or concerts or bars. That he can’t stop thinking about kissing Soonyoung in the back of cars, in the middle of the streets, in front of their friends, in an aisle in the grocer. And he can’t stop thinking about laying beside Soonyoung, feeling his hands roam across his body, letting his lips take as many detours as they want. Every minute of every day, all Wonwoo can think about is Soonyoung. He knows better than to fall so hard, but he can’t help it when he’s already too far gone. 

“Oh,” Soonyoung echoes, tipping his head back to laugh. “Wonwoo… Let me kiss you again.”

“Soonyoung…” His mouth is back to feeling dry. “Are we friends?” 

The question seems to trip him up, but then he’s back to laughing until he’s falling back onto the couch, pulling Wonwoo along with him. He only stops when Wonwoo is hovering atop him. “Jeon Wonwoo, we’re forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> hb cat!!! if u aren't cat then u don't have to read these notes bcos this was lit written for her. it was my intention the whole time lmao...
> 
> i'm gonna say some Words that are a little gay bcos that's just how i am, sentimental and Luving my friends...
> 
> hey cat, i'm really excited to be in snwunet with you and everyone else. you were the person who pulled me into it. snwu, for me, was a total accident. i was writing a minshua fic and suddenly, snwu was also happening on the side. it just felt right. then, i was being accepted into a group of loving people who are so talented and after leaving college without any lingering friends, it felt good to be accepted somewhere else. i've missed being apart of something, but you gave me a chance to belong again. out of everyone in snwunet, you are someone i consider a friend. i've opened up slowly to others, but with you, i feel like i can approach you. i feel our friendship. you encourage me and i want to support you as well. you are so talented, so sweet, and you really desire the title of queen cat. you only deserve the best, cat!!!! i hope that we continue to grow closer!!!!! ilu!
> 
> (also lol this is a little early bcos i'm not really in a stable living condition and idk when i'll be able to post it if not now)


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